Hi,
I am in my 20s and I wanted to be the guy who was successfull. Successufull how you ask - the answer is quite simple. Flashy car, good pay, good looks, foreign travels and what not!!.
It took me years to realise that this was not my dream but a dream that was instilled in me by social medias, societey and the pepople around me. So, next time you think of how success looks like, think for a few seconds if the success is what I truly want or am I too just focusing on a similar goal like everything else.
Below are few of the advises that I have recevied from people close to me, people I admire, friends, all those who are in different walks of life- The advice is related to wealth and kids-
- Have kids. They are a blessing. Have them early and have many. Live a purposefull life.
2)Do not ever bring new life to the world, why make them go through the trauma, the struggle, the unahappiness and a life where even the quality of life and earth is degrading.
Have kids, but enjoy life first, travel the world, visit places, make memories, settle down and then have kids.
Kids are a blessing, but no matter what, PR is the priority, so kids can wait, or else, think of the struggle that you will go through..
5)Trust in God, be open to life, God will provide, cast your worries on him. When do you think you will reach a stage in life that makes you think that 'Now you are ready for a kid', Are you not trying to be God at that point? I assure you, You will find a way as one shall be opened for you.
6)Build an empire first. Being married this early itself is a mistake. Your wife will now take up most of your time. So, focus rest of the time on builiding a life you want to live, make money, and then untill you buy your own house, do not think of kids.
- We are still kids and we are figuring out life. I do not feel like we are mature enough to have kids. So, wait untill there is clarity.
8)Kids are a burden, all the crying, yapping, changing of diapers, why sacrifice your happiness for all this when you can enjoy your life, go on the vacations that you crave for?
The advices goes on and on. And I agreed with all of them as these were not given together on the same day but with different people over the span on years. This made sense to me when they were told and I agreed with it and this was what I thought was right as well.
I understood that I now have many contracting belifs which I thought were true. This was confusing. I was crumbling with all the advices which I thought were true. I had to find a solution for this.
I understood that I was like a ship moving where the wind blew as I had no destination. I had not thought about what kind of man I wanted to be!, what life I wanted to live, what my happiness was.. I barely knew me.
This was a moment where I paused in life, slowed down and unwinded. I meditated, started jounraling and slightly focused more on philosophy and myself.
I wanted the answer to just 2 questions-
- Why am I here ?
- Who would I happily give my life for?
Think about this for a while.
These 2 questions gave me prespective. I am here on earth to be a man of service to my family, my communnity and to be a ray of sunshine.
I would happily give my life for my wife.. This felt hollow.. I started to realise that the more people I have to happily give my life for, the happier it would be. Bible says, there is no greater love than giving your own life for someone else.
This made an impact on me. I realised the kids I have, the more the number of people I could happily give my life for. I think Jesus was able to find power in his crusifixation as he was giving his life for millions of people. I would atleast like to give my life for atlest a few. I want to live a life of fulfilment and not of success. Our success is measured by other but our fulfilment is measured by ourselvs.
Thank you God for providing me with the time to jounral and think. With Love, Your Son, Albin